I rarely remember my dreams. But a few nights ago, as I slowly drifted towards consciousness, it was all very clear.
For whatever reason, my mind was churning out names for soap opera characters.
I’ve never really watched classic soap operas. My only tenuous connection was through my maternal grandmother, who would keep a couple on during the afternoon. I think The Bold and the Beautiful was her fave.
While barely paying attention, one of the things that somehow filtered into my awareness was soap opera nomenclature. Characters always seemed to be endowed with names that were finely crafted to the point of being overwrought. More often than not, they sounded like ridiculous clichés of WASPiness topped with a dollop of botched glamor. Like wayward attempts at American haute couture that instead ended up in jarringly ridiculously fun.
In that vein, I present the character names for a mythical soap opera, which came to me in a dream.
The Van Gelding Clan
Aunt Abigail Van Gelding: Matriarch
Gordon Van Gelding: Abigail’s son and CEO of VG Enterprises
India Van Gelding: Gordon’s wife
Dax and Dace: Gordon and India’s twin sons
Genevieve Van Gelding: Gordon’s sister
Vivienne Van Gelding: Genevieve’s adopted daughter
Alexa Carson: Dax Van Gelding’s fiancé
Jasmine: The Van Gelding maid
Key figures at Starland General Hospital
Edward Stonecraft: Chairman of Starland General
Dr. Lilian Sinclair: Head Surgeon and Dace Van Gelding’s sometimes love interest
Dr. Morgan Mansfield: Pining for Dr. Sinclair
Nurse Arrianna DeLong: She knows more than she should
Avery Vaughan: Waiting for his wife to come out of a coma
Other Characters
Dirk Baxter a.k.a. “D.B.”
Xaviera Hague
Cole Wyatt
Leslie Strong
Crystal Valenzuela
Syngon Wentworth
Connor J. Phelps
Anastasia Laurel
Jackson Steele
and . . . Orion, the Van Geldings’ prized Cockeranian (Cocker Spaniel/Pomeranian mix)